Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
there is glitter all over my balls
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
