My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
