Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Drunk is not a location!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
