that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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