How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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