Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Just cropdusted the office
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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