i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I am in a vortex of obligation.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
