Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
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