i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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