im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
