Midget sex pt 2 tonight
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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