Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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