We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
