I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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