Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
