We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
