Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
cat food counts as protein by the way
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
