Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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