how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
