Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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