Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
