susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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