I can feel you judging me through the phone.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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