Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
she pinky promised me she was 18
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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