Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
