I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
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Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
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I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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