just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
