Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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