As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
