I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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