Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
