Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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