we made out on top of his cat.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
