that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
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