I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
