apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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