Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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