yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
