i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize