Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
