You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize