you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
