I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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