absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Randomize
