Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
