is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
