I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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