Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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