i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
