just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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