Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
