I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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