No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize