I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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