I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
