walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
