Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
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