you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
