omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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