Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
