why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
