I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
