At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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