i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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