Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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